As mentioned in a prior post, I’ve been summoned for jury duty; it’s been seven years since my last summons (I’m legitimately dazzled they tracked me down in Kings County, but that’s what I get for voting), so I was game. And — as you might recall — I did predict that I’d be selected. […]

Our apartment stinks.
Which is not to say we’re messy; on the contrary, Lis and I clean obsessively. But we’ve been administering homespun pest deterrents of late, and the results have been fairly noxious. For instance, we had a mosquito problem this summer — poor Lis, she’s like an all-night Denny’s to them. Anyway, our friend […]

I hope this post doesn’t arrive too late to save/spare the majority of my readers (i.e., both of you, and screw Reader #3), but I’m not exactly working under a deadline. If anyone’s willing to kick some money toward my efforts, I’d happily stay up later on a Wednesday.
Today, most Americans will partake in a […]

No, probably not, but you’ve heard the story by now: Michael Richards recently mouthed-off to some hecklers at a comedy club, calling them “niggers,” among other things. CNN was covering the story this morning — since he made a public apology on Letterman last night — and what I found most remarkable wasn’t his infraction; […]

Yesterday, the nominal in-laws sat down together for the first time. (Actually, the Moms — the true power brokers — had already met; the Dads, sadly, are useless appendages in such situations.) Everyone got along great, no one hogged the conversation, and I think we parted ways realizing that what could’ve been a big deal? […]

(I have to be quiet; it’s still relatively early on a Sunday morning, and my metabolism is resting. As well it should — for the past week, it’s successfully attempted to kill me.)
(This diet was a misguided, dangerous idea. Why in god’s name would I lobby to lose weight? I haven’t put on more than […]

Lis’s brother emailed me about this website yesterday; it was created by the Music Genome Project, which I believe received mention in a recent New Yorker article about the present state of Muzak.
Simply put, the site asks that you identify a song or artist that you like (I went with Iron & Wine, because I’m […]

Hooray! I’ve been selected for jury duty in Kings County! Finally, the Man’s recognized my inate ability to confer judgement on my fellow man!!!
Ha. The Man couldn’t properly define “inate,” nor “confer.”
No, but seriously — why do we all speak of jury duty as the seventh plague? I recognize the interruption of one’s schedule; I […]

Inspired by our friends, Jon and Tanya, Lis and I have embarked on the South Beach Diet; we’re going on vacation in a few weeks, and Lis wants to lose a little weight prior to hitting the beach. Me? I’m along for moral support. Frankly, I don’t really care what I’m eating — and by […]

Halloween is a vastly changed experience when you’re single; I’m not single — happily, I haven’t been for two years — so my costume this Halloween reflected the company I kept, rather than the company I sought (i.e., a sexy kitten, or a sexy nurse, or a sexy, disease-free prostitute).
On Friday of that weekend, I […]

Everything on this site will be so helplessly outdated by the time anyone gets around to reading it, I don’t mind posting something that occurred to me many months ago. I’ll keep it brief:
So, we all agree that James Frey substituted fiction for non-fiction, and that this was a great crime against humanity, yeah? As […]

Institutions like the Filibuster exists for a reason, asshole.

It rhymes, it’s alliterate — you know it must be fluff. Harkens back to my days writing copy for Us Weekly. Sigh.
Back in 2000, I was teaching Freshman English Composition at the University of Arizona; I went to sleep after the presidential election had been called, thinking Al Gore had won. I didn’t read anything […]

(Has anyone properly traced the etymology of “infidel” and “infidelity?” Just asking. But I digress before I’ve had time to fully digress.)
Living in New York, as I do, I’m thankfully spared much of the election-day crappola. I mean, we all know how we’re voting here, and we’re widely conceived as miscreants and howling liberals, so […]

This happened some time ago, so my recollection isn’t entirely verbatim — but the gist will shine through, so to speak:
I was running errands in Brooklyn, and happened to pass a Prayer Station established on the corner of Atlantic and 4th. (If you’ve never encountered one of these, they’re little red tents that appear, at […]

I imagine that, once upon a time, I had great aspriations to post on this site; but it was summer, then (so, like, very hot out), I was in the process of moving-in with my girlfriend (only a few short blocks, but clearly a fraught decision), and I was busily conceiving of a new novel […]