I can levy judgment with the best of them
Hooray! I’ve been selected for jury duty in Kings County! Finally, the Man’s recognized my inate ability to confer judgement on my fellow man!!!
Ha. The Man couldn’t properly define “inate,” nor “confer.”
No, but seriously — why do we all speak of jury duty as the seventh plague? I recognize the interruption of one’s schedule; I recognize that any subsequent compensation probably pales in comparison to one’s hourly wage; and I certainly recognize the intrinsic boredom. But, still, is it really so bad? I’ve been summoned for the morning of the 29th — well, I’ll be awake, anyway, and as long as my New Yorker arrives the night before, I’ll have something to read. (But I warn you, Kings County: no New Yorker, no sense of civic responsibility.)
Having said that, I’m already debating how best to present myself as distasteful to both the prosecution and the defense. I’m a writer: well, that could either portray me as wishy-washy, or empathetic. I occasionally consult on matters regarding litigation-support: well, that either renders me too well versed in the legal system, or capable of approaching any case objectively. I’m CFO of a small consulting firm: well, that either makes me out to be a self-made man, or I’m all about the money. It’s actually incredibly difficult to parse.
If I can’t decide whether I’d be annoyed or mildly interested to serve on a jury, I can at least accept that I’ve got no idea how best to present myself to achieve either end. Right now, I’m thinking what I always think when faced with an unexpected situation outside my daily routine: I can always write about it. It’s true: no matter how annoying it is when a professor, or mentor, mumbles, “Well, it’s good material” — and no matter how often a writer stresses to friends, “You know, I do make shit up, occasionally” — situations like this do provide grist for the mill.
I’m not sure how to wrap this up; I received my Summons earlier this evening, made Happy Hour, and decided to post on the subject while walking home. I have a sense — for whatever reason — that I’ll be selected, and I’ll make no effort to discourage the presiding parties; and if I’m right — if I’m prescient, which really, really speaks well of my chances to be elected Foreman — then I’ll have something far more interesting to post in the coming weeks.
Though I shouldn’t. I think, technically, that’s illegal. I’ll have to create a whole new category: Shit That’ll Get Me Locked Up.
