Who the hell is Paul Miller?
What follows is a misguided (and, hopefully, relatively brief) incident of sports-related dementia. That right there might be enough to dissuade a handful of potential readers from forging on; as for all the rest of you, please bear with me.
Relatively brief backstory: I’m in a fantasy basketball league — and I presume no one needs to be told what “fantasy” sports is, anymore, yes? Okay. I was checking to see if a certain player (Mike Miller) was available, and Yahoo! — the host provider we use — coughed-up every guy in the NBA with the surname “Miller.” Among them, Paul Miller — center for the New York Knicks.
Center on the Knicks? I thought. No he’s not. Wait — who the hell is Paul Miller?
Relatively less brief backstory: As a sports fan, NBA basketball was my first love, and I was lucky enough to experience the Knicks of the early 90s — back when they were worth watching. Ewing, Harper, Mason, Oakley, even John Starks, who blew the ‘94 championship in Game 6 by opting for a 3-pointer rather than passing to Ewing for an easy bucket. Aaanyway. The team’s changed a lot in the past decade, and we now have Isiah Thomas running these kids into the ground, such that many — if not most — true fans can’t bear to watch their games anymore. Not me, not my friends, and not anyone in my family, at least.
But I do still read their coverage in the Times and the Post, mainly because I hope to someday care again (maybe after Isiah leaves town; maybe when they finally start David Lee; maybe when Curry learns to jump for a rebound; maybe when we give Stevie Franchise a bus ticket, a more appropriate nickname, and a pat on the back; maybe when Spike starts caring again; maybe when my sister relearns all the lyrics to the Knicks rap; maybe when my nephew’s old enough to drink; maaaaaaaaaybe then). That’s the same reason I participate in fantasy basketball — to stay abreast all the teams and players.
Which brings us to Paul Miller.
Who the hell is this guy? I’ve never heard his name before, and it’s not like you can hide a stiff on a basketball team; unlike football, maybe, there’s only room for 15 guys on the bench, both active and inactive. So, who is he? According to Yahoo!, he’s never played a professional game, not one minute. So, I went over to the Knicks website — and they don’t even acknowledge him, though they do list where every assistant coach went to college (proud alma maters, no doubt).
Next I tried my reliable, fantasy cheat-site, Rotoworld — surely, Rotoworld would give me something to work with. (Yahoo!, at least, provided a handsome portrait.) Well, yes and no: Paul Miller, center on the Knicks, was signed 10/3/06 … and waived on 10/25/06. A little more than three weeks spent wearing the jersey.
So, that pretty much settles the mystery, right? Sorta. Not really. After all this work (during which, mind you, I didn’t have to stand up — but still), I just wasn’t satisfied. Who is this Paul Miller character? I mean, who is he? What are his dreams? Does he have a pet? I need more. Frankly, Paul Miller needs more: with the exception of junk mail, this post is the most press he’s received in months. Possibly, he’ll work his way back into shape — but, given that he was dropped to make room for Kelvin Cato, that’s unlikely. Trust me; if you know who Kelvin Cato is, you know Paul’s chances stink.
Anyway, Paul Miller, this is for you:
6′10″, 254 lbs., born 11/17/82 in Jefferson City, MO, Miller graduated from Wichita State, where he was named the Missouri Valley Conference Player of the Year in 2006, while leading the Shockers to their first regular-season title in 23 years. Consequently, Miller was the first Shocker to be named MVC Player of the Year since 1985 … when Xavier “X-Man” McDaniel took the honor. McDaniel, another Knicks alumnus, who — in one season — became the only guy in orange and blue to ever successfully guard Michael Jordan. Which is why Jordan’s agent — David Falk — who was also McDaniel’s agent, had the X-Man moved to the Celtics in ‘92. Which pissed off a lot of people, including me.
Anyhow, Paul’s probably at home right now, sitting on the couch. If you’d like to call him, his number’s 573-496-3990 — unless that’s another Paul Miller. In which case, I have no idea who that guy is.
May 16th, 2008 16:15
Did a little deeper and you’ll see that Paul just finished a season playing for a team in Poland. He is spending the summer with friends here in Phoenix, Arizona. I saw him about an hour ago and he looks to be happy and healthy.
July 13th, 2008 22:17
Check out the 2008 Knicks summer league team in Las Vegas. He will be playing with them again this year. He has already signed a contract to play the 2008-2009 year with another team in Poland but has an NBA out in his contract if a team decides to sign him.