Fantasy Draft Tips, pt. I
It’s been a while since I last posted, and certainly not for lack of material: Walter Reed, Scooter Libby, Harry Potter in the nude — any one of these scandals might’ve warranted my attention, had I not been engaged in matters of far greater significance: fantasy baseball. Specifically, the intense preparation that goes into my live, fantasy draft.
I shouldn’t have to explain the nature of fantasy sports, but for those of you who abstain from any sort of fun whatsoever, here goes: in fantasy baseball, you gather a team of “real” players, tally their statistics for the duration of the season, and hope to amass greater — or lesser — numbers than the other managers.
For example, I could draft Carlos Lee, Gary Sheffield, and Vernon Wells for my outfield (players from three different teams, three different divisions, and two different leagues) and hope to accumulate a reasonable number of home runs (a standard scoring category), but will probably fare poorly in terms of stolen bases (another standard).
That’s the How — rather simple. As for the Why: if you participate in fantasy baseball, you’re probably a fan of “real” baseball, as well as a particular team (cough, cough, Yankees); well, with so many fantasy players to monitor, you will inevitably gain a deeper appreciation for all of MLB, which constitutes hundreds of world-class athletes — thousands, if you delve into the minor leagues.
Plus, you can beat your friends at a game, and there might even be money involved. So, that’s nice.
I’ve participated in one or more fantasy leagues since 2002. I’d like to think I’ve improved over the past five years; I’ve definitely refined my approach. But the simple fact is that I’ll be preoccupied for the next 2.5 weeks, culminating in a 36-hour, 200-mile, 2-draft weekend (which, god willing, I’ll survive to document) — so it’s either fantasy baseball, or nothing. I can certainly respect those who would opt for the latter, but trust me: our proud men and women in uniform will still be fucked come April — if they haven’t applied the Powell Doctrine to DC by then.
In the meantime, some helpful advice for those of you scheduled for a live draft (rather than an auto-draft, in which your service provider — e.g., Yahoo!, CBS Sportsline, etc. — automatically allocates players to each squad). Who knows — maybe Providence and an unorthodox Google query will lead some downtrodden high schooler to my humble URL. I can’t teach you to throw a baseball, Timmy, but together we can master the data.
1. Consider position depth
Every season is unique; this season, there’s a real dearth at 3B — but you can fill your 1B slot as an afterthought. Consider two players with comparable numbers: David Wright at 3B (96-26-116-.311) and Paul Konerko at 1B (97-37-113-.313). Wright will probably go in the top 10 in your draft, whereas you can land Konerko four rounds later. Why? Because after A-Rod, Wright, Atkins, Cabrera, and Ramírez (in no particular order), 3B is a junk drawer.
After the first round, it’s probably smart to target shallow categories. I’ve already participated in a few mock drafts, and can report that 1B, SP, and RP are deep (worth late consideration), 3B, OF, and SS are surprisingly shallow (if you don’t grab them early, you’ll be stuck with the dregs), and it’s not even worth pursuing C or 2B until the bitter end — because anyone who wastes a first-round pick on Chase Utley is no friend of mine.
2. Don’t draft to trade
Let’s say it’s the third round: you’ve selected your first-round stud (Ryan Howard, for argument’s sake), you’ve listened to me and snatched a 3B (Atkins, FAS), and now you’re browsing at SS … but, hey, is that Lance Berkman still available? How did he slip to the third round? Sure, you’ve already got Howard at 1B — but you could play him at Utility. Or, better yet, you could trade either Howard or Berkman later; hard to say what you’ll need when the dust settles, but someone can always use a 1B, right?
Okay — why would you do that? By way of analogy, I had a party on Saturday. Suppose I turned to Lis and said, “All right, we both know I’m going to drink too much and vomit — I should probably eat something bland for dinner.” If she (rightly), suggested, “Uh … how about you don’t drink too much, and not vomit?”, what’s the proper response: (a) “What? No, vomiting’s an inevitability. Pass the chicken broth,” or (b) “Oh, yeah, I suppose I already have a IB, and would be better served drafting Michael Young at SS.” Exactly.
(Also, if you’ve drafted both Howard and Berkman — and it’s May of 2006 — you should clearly trade me Howard for Andy Pettitte, of your hometown Astros. And if it’s 2007, and you satisfy the first two qualifications, but didn’t trade me Howard for Pettitte? Then thanks for nothing.)
3. There’s no shame in not drafting your nemesis
Maybe you hate Derek Jeter. Or A-Rod. Or David Ortiz, or Manny Ramírez, or Clemens, or Pedro, or Randy Johnson — ooh, or the Big Hate himself, Barry Bonds. Me? I hate Trot Nixon. I don’t care if he’s playing for the Indians now, or if he’s platooning behind three other guys — I want to stab him until he stops moving, and then I’d like to kick him in the ass. Hate, hate, hate.
But here’s the difference between Trot Nixon and Barry Bonds: whereas Trot never had any fantasy worth to begin with, Bonds is still a viable option on draft day — and the same goes for all the big-name stars, above. In fact, you probably learned to hate one or more of them as a function of his talent. (But not you, Trot. Everyone knows you suck.)
There’s nothing wrong with electing NOT to draft one of these characters; most service providers even offer a Don’t Draft category — in case your league has an auto-draft, or you’re picking your nose when it’s your turn, or you’re trying to be cold and logical in making your decision. Real teams, in real life, move, drop, or trade players all the time, whispering how they’re a cancer on the clubhouse (see: Shea Hillenbrand). Having Scott Kazmir on his or her team could seriously injure a Mets fan’s psyche, despite his K/9 rate. I’m just saying, no need to be a hero.
I’ve got more to say — about drafting for saves and/or stolen bases, or the DL slot, or even playoff strategy for September — but I don’t want another week to elapse before my next post; gotta keep some fuel in the tank. So, finally, for those of you who soldiered on despite your disinterest in fantasy baseball, I’d like to make it up to you. Am I right in thinking you’re a woman? Yes? C’mon, I’m right. Well, check out this link.
You’re welcome.
