His first serious girlfriend was a smoker, and it nearly left her deaf. (Deaf, not dead.) This is a fact: smoking can affect a person’s hearing. He asked Hendershot once:
“It’s a carcinogen,” Hendershot spat. “What do you expect? That it’ll put the pep back in your step? Smoking performs countless, grievous sins against your body. […]

A guy schedules a doctor’s appointment, complaining of head pains. Upon entering the examination room, the doctor consults his file and inquires, “May I ask what you do for a living?”
“I’m a pugilist,” the guy replies.
“A pugilist?”
“A boxer.”
“Ah,” the doctor grunts, closing the folder. “Well, there’s your problem.”
“How’s that?”
“You’re a boxer?” he confirms. “I imagine […]

All right, is everyone clear which fantasy pitchers they should and shouldn’t draft? I can only hope five months was adequate time for the lesson to sink in.
Actually, there was a good reason for my absence: I was terribly, terribly burned out. Not that you’d necessarily know it from the quality of or frequency with […]