Voice of Addiction, pt. 1
You are doing great!
You think so?
Oh, yeah, absolutely! So great.
Gee, thanks for noticing — it means a lot.
Totally. Everyone’s super-impressed — or would be, if they could appreciate the magnitude of what you’ve accomplished. Did you expect it to be harder?
It’s funny: I did and didn’t. I mean, on the one hand? I’m a pretty stubborn guy: if I say I’m gonna quit, I’m gonna quit.
Right, right.
But, at the same time? I’ll admit to being a little worried. So many people try and fail — or think they’ve succeeded, then slip up. I mean, I’m steadfast — but I’m not Christ in the desert!
So, yeah, there was a little trepidation.
Well, of course — that’s to be expected. But it seems like you took a pragmatic approach.
Pragmatic … yeah, that’s a good way to put it. Pragmatic.
You know what you should do, right?
What?
I’m just saying — because of how well everything’s going? And because, clearly, you’ve got sufficient will power?
Uh-huh?
You should have a cigarette.
… pardon?
Sure — fire one up! Reward yourself!
What? No, I won’t “have a cigarette” — it’s only been eight days!
ONLY eight days? Eight days is a long time, man. Eight whole days without a cigarette?
I don’t understand.
Look, all I’m saying is: you smoked for years and years and years. Right? And, by your own account, you were addicted — right?
Well … yes?
True?
True, but –
But, despite it all, you decided to quit — and you fucking did it! First try and everything! (And — please — don’t bother me with stories about those previous two attempts, since both of those occurred at uniquely challenging times in your life, and obviously aren’t comparable, whether or not you did or didn’t quit for a significantly long period of time.)
I mean, I’m not wrong — am I? No woe-is-me, no kicking the dog or snapping at the girlfriend? And you quit cold turkey? If that’s not a moral victory, I don’t know what is.
But … still, I don’t see why I should have a cigarette, then.
Because you can! Shit, dude, if you were climbing the walls, do you think I’d even suggest it? No! Never! Of course not! It’s just — you did it, man. You’re cured. Saved. What’s one cigarette?
Bu –
Or, let me qualify: what’s one cigarette to you? To some other asshole, BLAMO! Game over! But you? Nah — you made it a whole week, no problem. (Excuse me: eight days.) So, yeah, go ahead. And after that, it’s back to business.
…
The business of quitting.
…
What, we’re not speaking now?
(Thinking.)
Oh, okay — sure. Take your time.
…
…
(Thinking, you’re not a voice I should listen to.)
