Lots of activity in the past hour: as we near the “publication” date of SMOKER, I’ve been updating all the burps, as well as uploading some new material. Please take the time to peruse everything; in particular, the new burps are respectively entitled Apostate, Brand Loyalty, Chew!, Coda, December 31, 2003, and The 30th Annual […]

Dear New York Road Runners (NYRR),
I am writing to request an invitation to the Thirtieth Annual Empire State Building Run-Up. Your website promises that “selections [will be] based on athletic ability and background.” Simply put: my “background” as a smoker ideally qualifies me for the event.
First of all, I am no longer a smoker — […]

He preferred autumn to other months: dunes of gross, sodden leaves, heavy sweaters, and the pads of his fingers turned mysteriously pruney. Humidity makes an odor stick. In autumn, he wore the scent of tobacco like a shroud.
~
His first car didn’t have an ashtray: even at terrific speeds, he could edge a tremulous half-inch into […]

As a teenager, he was terrified he’d encounter his parents on the street. They’d kill him if he got caught. They’d never speak to him again. It was the worst thing he could possibly imagine — so bad, in fact, that he couldn’t possibly imagine it: just some foggy fin de siécle, in which he’d […]

Freshman year of college, he gave soccer a shot, faring well that first day — but when asked who among them had captained their high school teams, thirty-eight hands went up (out of forty), his included. A 5-mile run was scheduled for later that afternoon: thus, the final hurrah for team sports.
Instead, he dated a […]

At sixteen, the spirit moves you. Your parents — howling atheists, each — would levitate if they found out; but once in the world, you can finally, publicly, reveal yourself. Your mother cries. Your father threatens violence. But you’re resolved.
Wherever you go, battle lines have been drawn. Discrimination is rote — and while your rights […]

His very first cigarette came on New Year’s Eve, 1993: one of a gaggle of teenagers, huddled under the stars. They were vacationing in Florida, his parents gone off to bed. When he was offered an illicit smoke, it was because his newfound beach pals didn’t know him; couldn’t appreciate how laughable, the idea of […]