We both knew this day was coming, desk chair. Or, perhaps, you didn’t: given all the indignities you’ve suffered — yet endured, in your pathetic fashion — perhaps you’ve come to think of yourself as immortal. Well, you’re not: you’re a crappy desk chair, and I’m replacing you.
You were pristine, once. During the time I […]

Last week’s Stinger and the Rats post has become quite popular, thanks in large part to the mention it received in The Yourdon Report. And of the many appreciative, bemused, and/or automated responses it’s generated, one has touched me in particular: a brief comment left by my old pal, Irish Nick.
Nick and I met nearly […]

The summer my sister turned thirteen, I was an impressionable young lad of seven: whatever tasty morsel of pop culture she digested, I desired a few nibbles, myself. Thus did I develop an early appreciation for Wham!, and thus did I memorize all the lyrics to “Careless Whisper” — if there was going to be […]

Every so often, Lis and I will overnight babysit my nephew, now 4-years-old; and on these occasions, every woman in my family takes the opportunity to hiss, “Tough, huh? A real armful, huh? And that was only one night — imagine you had him all the time! Not ready for a kid, are you?”
To which, […]

As mentioned in a prior post, I’ve been summoned for jury duty; it’s been seven years since my last summons (I’m legitimately dazzled they tracked me down in Kings County, but that’s what I get for voting), so I was game. And — as you might recall — I did predict that I’d be selected. […]

Our apartment stinks.
Which is not to say we’re messy; on the contrary, Lis and I clean obsessively. But we’ve been administering homespun pest deterrents of late, and the results have been fairly noxious. For instance, we had a mosquito problem this summer — poor Lis, she’s like an all-night Denny’s to them. Anyway, our friend […]

Yesterday, the nominal in-laws sat down together for the first time. (Actually, the Moms — the true power brokers — had already met; the Dads, sadly, are useless appendages in such situations.) Everyone got along great, no one hogged the conversation, and I think we parted ways realizing that what could’ve been a big deal? […]

(I have to be quiet; it’s still relatively early on a Sunday morning, and my metabolism is resting. As well it should — for the past week, it’s successfully attempted to kill me.)
(This diet was a misguided, dangerous idea. Why in god’s name would I lobby to lose weight? I haven’t put on more than […]

Hooray! I’ve been selected for jury duty in Kings County! Finally, the Man’s recognized my inate ability to confer judgement on my fellow man!!!
Ha. The Man couldn’t properly define “inate,” nor “confer.”
No, but seriously — why do we all speak of jury duty as the seventh plague? I recognize the interruption of one’s schedule; I […]

Inspired by our friends, Jon and Tanya, Lis and I have embarked on the South Beach Diet; we’re going on vacation in a few weeks, and Lis wants to lose a little weight prior to hitting the beach. Me? I’m along for moral support. Frankly, I don’t really care what I’m eating — and by […]

Halloween is a vastly changed experience when you’re single; I’m not single — happily, I haven’t been for two years — so my costume this Halloween reflected the company I kept, rather than the company I sought (i.e., a sexy kitten, or a sexy nurse, or a sexy, disease-free prostitute).
On Friday of that weekend, I […]

This happened some time ago, so my recollection isn’t entirely verbatim — but the gist will shine through, so to speak:
I was running errands in Brooklyn, and happened to pass a Prayer Station established on the corner of Atlantic and 4th. (If you’ve never encountered one of these, they’re little red tents that appear, at […]